Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. – Isaiah 43:19 (ESV)
I am in some groups on social media, a few that pertain to my interests and some that relate to the lifestyle I have been living for the past 32 years. Some of the groups I glance at show me what others are doing or have done. I live vicariously through their experience because I am not able to get out and do some of those things at the present moment and it feels like I go on a little adventure. Other groups are people like myself from all walks of life who are parents raising special needs children; whether young children at present or an adult, like mine.
Some parents put into words how they are feeling and I know exactly what they are talking about and some talk about the behaviors and illness and struggles their children deal with, which I can relate to for the most part. This opened my eyes a bit more to the reality of my own heart and what I have been carrying around in me, I was carrying a load identified as “I want freedom.” (2 Corinthians 1:4: Psalm 73:26)
I wasn’t one who desired to be married or have children. I was a ‘free-spirit’ so-to-speak. But, through my life choices I became a mom, married, divorced and I’m still raising my adult daughter with special needs. I found that in my mind I would go back to the place where I felt the most freedom which was on horseback in the woods or outdoors on some adventure.
My life looks nothing like that now and God sees and cares about my heart so He continued to prompt me to speak to Him and seek Him about this uncomfortable feeling in my heart, which I thought I was doing. I think He just wanted me to say I want freedom. Not that I wanted to lose my lifestyle or my beloved daughter, but to have freedom in it through Him. So, I asked God for freedom. (Jeremiah 29:11; Matthew 6:8; Philippians 4:6-7)
For me, after admitting that’s what I desired, I had many topics come through my mind, like people, ideas for the future, some things I was hanging onto from my past. I hadn’t seen that these things were a barrier to my freedom in my current lifestyle. God even opened a door to a boarding location knowing I desired a horse and after pondering it, I knew it would not be feasible with my current time constraints. Then I understood why He allowed me to see that and peace followed in the desire.
I love being my daughter’s mother and she sees the weariness in me at times and I see hers. God sees His purpose in us and in the situations we are faced with on a daily basis. I am grateful He purged me to go deep into my heart and search for what I was longing for and find He is the freedom that lives in me. Something in me changed supernaturally even though I had to do some work through asking, and seeking, God provided a joyful day at home for the both of us; something to behold. (Isaiah 40:31; Psalm 139:7-10)
Heavenly Father, thank You for releasing me from the heavy load that kept me from allowing You to carry my burden. Christ, You are the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom and we have that in You because Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light. Give us eyes to perceive what You are doing in the lives of Your people and within our heart. (Matthew 11: 28-30; Philippians 1:6; Psalm 91:15; John 14:16-17)
This devotion by author, Terrie Miles, is exclusively and solely shared with permission to New Beginnings Church. Any unauthorized printed reproduction, sharing or use of this material is prohibited.